Gary Owen
(@garyowencomedy)

3,725 posts

706,233 followers

545 followings

Stories and Highlights posted by garyowencomedy

Photos and Videos posted by garyowencomedy

This is what I have Starbucks write on all my drinks. If you don’t get it watch my new comedy special #doinwhatido on @showtime OnDemand or get the Showtime app. #whitecrackabread #blacktwitter

I love my job. Last night the crowds were 🔥🔥🔥🔥. 2 more shows tonight at the Chicago Improv. As long as nobody drives their truck through the mall. Go to www.garyowen.com for tix info. #chicagoimprov #mallsecurity #getsome

Chicago/Schaumburg area due to the asshole that drove his truck through the mall we had to cancel last nights shows. But I added 2 shows tonight at 11pm & tomorrow at 9:15 at the Improv. Go to www.garyowen.com for tix info. Still can’t believe what I saw yesterday. #whodrivesthroughsears #whatadick #getsome

Both my shows are cancelled tonight at the Chicago Improv cause some dipshit drove his truck through the mall. Cops got the entire mall shut down. So I added an 11pm show on Saturday & a 9:15pm show on Sunday. You r tickets from tonight will be good at either show or you get a refund if you can’t make that happen. To the fuckstick that drove his truck through the mall this emoji is for you 🖕🏿🖕🏿🖕🏿🖕🏿🖕🏿🖕🏿🖕🏿#wtf #gladpplaresafe #unreal

Gary Owen
(@garyowencomedy)

2 Days 11 Hours Ago

Got up at 5 am to do press for my weekend at the Chicago Improv. Still a few tickets left but hurry cause they going fast!!! Go to www.garyowen.com for tix info & showtimes. #chicago #improv #getsome

Just want everyone to know I’m humbled to say I have taken an “L” for #tbt this is where I thought I was untouchable. I shoulda took @cthagod advice I’m sorry you were right. But if I go down everyone goes down. #snitchesgetstitches #butimgonnabefree #doinwhatido

The good thing about getting old is you get to say what you want. No reason to beat around the bush just get right to the point. She asked him what he wants he told her the truth 😂😂😂😂😂

Chicago I’m in your city this weekend at the Improv Sept. 20-22. Trust me I know Schaumburg ain’t Chicago but it’s so fucking close. Stop acting like it’s 2000 miles away. Go to www.garyowen.com tix info. #chicago #improv #getsome

Gary Owen
(@garyowencomedy)

4 Days 10 Hours Ago

Whenever you see comedians issue an apology for a joke they tell just know they don’t mean it.

Gary Owen
(@garyowencomedy)

4 Days 22 Hours Ago

We in such a PC/Cancel Culture. But for what I know you can’t cancel or sensor comedians from stuff we say onstage. Live comedy is alive and well. And those ppl that try to cancel comedians were never going to pay to see us any way. They see something online and get all upset. If I don’t like someone I don’t hang out with them. If you don’t like a joke don’t watch it. Thanks @barstoolsports for having me on your show.

Gary Owen
(@garyowencomedy)

5 Days 23 Hours Ago

Sometimes in the middle of my show I like to incorporate some yoga into a joke. I take multi tasking to another level. #doinwhatido #warriorone #getsome

This is not the kind a meme I wanted to be. But I’m diehard I’ll be watching my @bengals this Sunday like I always do. #whenisajcomingback #imisswhitworth #getsome

Watch Power Confidential after @power_starz to see how it went down the first time me & @josephsikora4 finally meet in person. Thanks @terrencej for the plug. #powerconfidential #timmyandtommyegan #getsome

Tonight it finally happens. Tommy Egan meets his big brother Timmy. Tommy & Timmy about to take Ghost to a place he didn’t see coming. #power #tommymeetstimmy #doinwhatido

This is how you take a picture with a rainbow 🌈. Throw your leg in the air like you just don’t care. #doinwhatido #arizonaviews #getsome

Gary Owen
(@garyowencomedy)

7 Days 19 Hours Ago

Stopped by to say what up to @michaelrapaport aka Remy from Higher Learning. I still don’t like him for killing @tyrabanks #notcool #ithurts #getsome

Show was last night but decided to have a Team Owen company retreat in Phoenix. I tried to filter my legs so they would be tan. There’s no filter for this whiteness. #whitehorse #spf100 #getsome

This is how comics watch other comics backstage. So much low key hate. Someone caught me hating on @lilduval last night. #doinwhatido #helazy #getsome

Gary Owen
(@garyowencomedy)

8 Days 10 Hours Ago

Last night me & @lilduval tore the Celebrity Theater down! Well not tear it down but we had a lotta fun. Shout out to @rubiconatl for doing absolutely nothing last night. #phoenix #imthe TallOne #getsome

My manager just called me told me my comedy special #doinwhatido is the highest rated ever on Showtime. If you didn’t catch it you still watch it on OnDemand or get the Showtime app. Thank you Thank You Thank you!!!! #funnyasshit #whostheguyinthepool #getsome

Gary Owen
(@garyowencomedy)

10 Days 6 Hours Ago

For #tbt it’s that time I messed up and took 2 @onepeloton classes back to back with @alextoussaint25 I have a very love/hate relationship with my bike. My peloton name is TiredAlready so if you see me in your class gimme a high five. #peloton #mybikeisthewhitehorse #getsome

Gary Owen
(@garyowencomedy)

10 Days 12 Hours Ago

There is not a bad time to watch my @showtime special. @krenewmommy918 is pumping her breast milk. Her laughter is helping push that milk out. So my special is not only the GREATEST of all time it’s also helping feed the babies. #doinwhatido #gotmilk #getsome

Gary Owen
(@garyowencomedy)

11 Days 5 Hours Ago

For the record this is NOT me. Although I’m not mad at this dude. Last thing I need in my life is some scandal “Gary Owen seen grinding on sistas all over the country” #doinwhatido #hehasatype #getsome